Around the Track with Jalopy Jack
I just now finished watching the big race from Syracuse on TV. Is it a surprise that over 1/2 the contenders are dropping out in the final 10 laps, trying to stretch their refined machinery to the 200 mile limit from parts light enough to drop in a Cracker Jacks box? Fans, I have the same opinion of this race as I do most NASCAR Cup races. Maybe even more so this time around. The race is for Saturday night drivers and what should be their Saturday night cars. Yes, it’s a little different putting them on a fast 1 mile track. But I think the Saturday night drivers and the Saturday night crowd should settle this with a Saturday night format.
“Story S”: A couple of columns back I said “Story S” would continue. I will sooner and later reveal the track and its principals. For now I have 1 thing to say about it. The night I was there, the division in question [actually every official there should be in question] had 21 cars on hand for a regular distance Feature. Their big show only a few weeks later had a big 23 cars. The man they screwed promised to pull cars from that event and I believe this is proof that he did. I’d say this cost the track first and second place purse money. How important their ego must be!
The next track I’m mad at does get identified, that’s Susquehanna Speedway Park. Dealing with Mother Nature is 1 thing. How you deal with it is another. This is 1 that you should hear my voice on to get the desired affect of the story. The place to do that is by calling WLAR [We Love Auto Racing] at 718-707-1052. While you’re there, you can find out how the original “People’s Driver” Richard Petey got screwed and by what track.
I reckon that Wall Stadium doesn’t want to give me credit for making this official. But here’s an attempt to give you a head’s up towards the format of Turkey Derby taking place on 11/27 and 11/28. While I’m at it, I’ll tell you that the very final racing event’s on Sunday 11/29. That’ll be an Enduro which’s a little different this time. It’ll be open to any full bodied METAL Stock car on DOT tires. Legend cars will be there also. Five dollars get you in. As for Friday, right now it looks like the Sportsmen for their only appearance. Legends for possibly their only Turkey Derby appearance. Factory Stocks are likely. The headliner that day will be the Late Models. This’ll be only their second appearance ever at Wall. Their previous appearance only had 15 cars for a 100 lapper and it was very action packed. This coming appearance will be a 75 lapper. I understand “Showtime” Jimmy Blewett will have a top notch ride in a familiar Late Model car. Saturday we’ll see the Street Stocks, possibly the Factory Stocks [which could mean they’d be the only division appearing both days and if they should be entering the Enduro, it’d be 3 straight days] the TQ Midgets and what I understand will be an ATQMRA point race, the weekly Wall-SK Modifieds in a 100 lapper and the Tour-Type Modifieds also in a 100 lapper. I know tickets are on sale for Turkey Derby but don’t know exactly how much. Experience tells me it’ll be somewhere between $27 and $35 for both days. Track opens in the morning and racing would normally start early afternoon. The format if told to me correctly, is a big change from what has normally been the case. I wonder if the reason’s to attempt to end the racing by nightfall. Also I’m sure the Vintage Stock cars will be on hand at least 1 of those days. There’ll also be practice on 11/14 and 11/21. While we’re at it, probably the final action for our type of auto racing [American oval track] will take place 1 week later, the first weekend of December on Friday and Saturday night in Providence, Rhode Island at the indoor Dunkin Donuts Center. Featuring the TQ Midgets with caged Go Carts filling out the show on both nights. It was quite an event last year and we’re glad to see it happening again.
What I’m not glad to see happening is the way this grand high exalted point chase in NASCAR Cup is going. With only 3 races left, all the tracks that I could care less about, Jimmy [yawn] Johnson leads Mark Martin in points by just about a full race. Oh boy, does NASCAR have all the answers to make it exciting. But even a too bit candy store promoter would rather see his little speedway close then listen to 1 little fantastic idea from me, so who expects NASCAR to listen to Jalopy Jack. Come on!
Wouldn’t a 40 lapper at the end of the season for the best 25 to 30 cars be more exciting then wondering who’s going to change tires at the right time and who has enough gas to go the final 2 laps? Of course it wouldn’t just be a 40 lapper. Instead of a stupid, ignoramus, idiotic, useless, “ketchup on your sleeve” or “order a pizza” pre-race show, we could have time trials to familiarize yourself with the entire starting field. This is instead of time trials 1 or 2 days before. Like, what’s the intention here?
Keep you from 1 short track for time trials and another short track for the actual race? Where do they expect the drivers to come from if the short tracks all die? The retard farm? After time trials we have a trophy dash for the fastest 4 or 6 cars. Then we divide the entire entry list into Heat races. And not useless Heat races like the average short track with 6 divisions that don’t have enough cars, but actual qualifying Heats that you must get the job done. Just like your local track, these races would be about 8 laps. Right away, you’d see who’s charging and who hasn’t. Not wondering for the first 7 pit stops who’s saving it for the end. You wanna see pit stops? Go to the local gas station. Then we can either have semis so we could get another look at our great stars, or we could have a format of C and B mains to give everybody else a chance. Now 1 thing to keep in mind here, is the time element. I mean we must respect the attention span of the average fan [human being citizen] because it can’t go too damn long and we got to keep people interested. I mean if they’re walking out of speedways before the show ends, what’s that to say about having a remote control in their dumb hands. Folks, I’m separating the riff from the raff here. I know that you people who read my column all the time and listen to WLAR every week and not the McDonald’s clones that NASCAR’s continuously trying to foot wash. Yes, I said “foot wash”. Because unfortunately the average race fan’s really less then an average race fan, which only qualifies him as an average imbecile citizen and is the type of person that we’d have to keep interested in this must improve product that I”m proposing. What I mean is that the average person has their brains in their feet. But that’s OK folks. Because I know what makes them interested all over again. Because before the Feature race, we’ll have a little gambling technique. People love gambling, don’t they? Even intelligent and creative people like a dose of a gamble. So before the Feature race, a gambling technique will decide the starting order of those who’re qualified. That means the Feature lineup could be heads up, totally inverted [by time or points], or even picked out of a hat! So all the “for said” accused [in most cases rightfully so] dummies would get interested all over again in time for the real racing. Are you listening NASCAR? Do you have a warrant out for my arrest yet? Are you getting the idea that my ideas are endless? You better believe it. At least NASCAR will have their little party in Vegas this year and not get in my way here in New York. You know, the money, the top 12 racing teams or so make, they can go to New York any old time and do it without tying up the traffic even worse then it already is. So let them tie up the traffic in Vegas this year and maybe they’ll help the economy by blowing their new found fortunes at the tables.
My new found fortune’s awaiting that armored truck to turn the corner too fast on the way from the average NASCAR weekend to Fort Knox. Just give me 1 little track to start with. I’m not asking for the beach-road course in Daytona like “Big Bill France” started with. Which by the way was with the help of the city fathers. I bet the mayor of “Tinyville” wouldn’t even help me get an ice cream permit from my track. But give me any track of at least 1/5 of a mile and I guarantee by the end of the season, you’ll need grand stands surrounding the track to get all of the people in. You want the same less cars every week type of racing shows that we’re all suffering with? Promoters, just listen to your egos in the same old mirror every week. You want to get people in the stands like you had back in the 50’s and 60’s? And a reminder, yes I know times are tough but so was the depression and like Tony Soprano says “racing was a major earner”! You got the man right here. Jalopy Jack. I’ve been spending this season telling all of you people why the racing scene’s hurting and I’ve been spending the entire racing season giving you all 1 hint after another on how it could improve. I know the history aspect has been suffering some, but a look at the historic aspect of the racing scene will point out most of what I’m saying. How many of you know that at 1 time, the majority of the tracks were paying their purse on the basis of 40% of the front gate? Freeport Stadium was very likely the last track to do that into the early 60’s. How about this ladies and gentlemen. A guaranteed purse vs 40% of the front gate, whichever’s greater! That’s greater for the racers! Does anybody have the intelligence to listen? Does anybody have the guts to try it???
It’s now become time for Jalopy Jack to get ready for his next column. To do that I best finish up this column. If nothing else I hope you all enjoy this. Therefore it’s time to say, keeping the fans in the stands and the cars on the track, this has been Jalopy Jack.